A leap of faith

About a month ago, I was in the middle of applying for colleges. I applied for two in Miami, and I had been working on the last one. My plan was to apply for the Miami Dade Honors college and hopefully go there for the first two years of college in order to save money. During one week in December, a representative of Miami Dade college came to RMEC to help seniors apply and answer questions they may have. I decided that it would be the best opportunity to ask questions about the Honors college. I went along with three of my friends, and sat down in the meeting along with about 15 other seniors. One of my friends asked me to walk up to the representative and ask her a question, so I willingly got up and walked over. The second I opened my mouth and stated that I wanted to ask her a question about the Honors college, she went off. She literally screamed at me on the top of her lungs telling me that I was irresponsible for not having submitted my application (the application isn't due until February 1 btw) and that I was unfit for the college because other people were already getting interviewed. She continued for about 10 minutes, and throughout the whole time the other seniors were sitting there staring. I could feel my face reddening as I tried to sustain my composure. I had been going through a lot that week and it was the last thing I needed. She mocked me and make fun of me because I had been nodding at everything she was telling me. I had never been more humiliated in my life. I walked out of that room feeling like a failure and that I would never amount to anything. I was even more upset when I found out that as soon as I walked out of the room, my friends went up to ask her a question about the same college and she had been completely courteous to them. She gladly told them about the Honors college and told them how much they would like it. I began to question why she decided to scream at me of all people. I had never met her prior to that day or given her reason to do that to me.

That incident further affected me when I had finally finished my application and it came time to apply to the college. I began to get stressed out just thinking of having to go to Miami Dade and turn it in. I was scared that I would run into her again. I began to imagine being called into an interview, only to find out that she was the interviewer. I almost didn't apply. But then I thought about it. There had to be a reason that God allowed that to happen. Nothing happens by coincidence. I knew that God must have allowed that to happen in order to test my faith. If I applied, even though I had a bad experience with a representative, I would be putting all my faith in God. If I didn't, then I'd be allowing the devil to control my actions and allow him to put things in my path to keep me from following God. Any little thing that you allow the Devil to have over you, he will use! He attacks when you are at your weakest point. I didn't want the Devil to have that over me, so I knew that as soon as I finished my application I had to get rid of it as soon as possible. And I did. It proved to me that God will put things into your path, but will give you the resources to get through it if you choose to follow the plan that He has for your life. Continue to read the bible and follow what it says, and God guarantees to help you through any trial you may face.

"Seek His will in ALL you do, and he will show you which path to take." - Proverbs 3:6

-Cynthia:)

Sincerely Yours

Last week I began to get really stressed out over midterms. I've always been the one to try and stay on top of my grades and do whatever it took to get an A. That Friday, I had a vocabulary test. I looked over it twice thinking that I would know it enough to pass. Once my teacher placed the test in front of me, I completely blanked out. I forgot everything that I had studied and had to guess every single answer. I began to pray to God that I would somehow remember at least some part of what I studied. My English teacher told us to stop our tests, and decided to allow us to correct our own papers. I ended up getting about 7 out of 20 wrong. I was itching to change my answers, and I allowed myself to be tempted. I changed one of the answers and in result got a C instead of the D that I deserved. Once she collected the paper, I felt completely guilty. I was happy that I didn't get a D, but upset that I didn't get my grade honestly. I had been praying for months for God to make me an example for others, and I knew that that was the wrong way to start. That night, I went to youth group. Of all days we were discussing trials and temptations. My youth pastor asked all of us to open up to James 1. The first verse I see when I opened up the bible was James 2:10:

"For the person who keeps all of the laws except ONE is as guilty as a person who has broken all of God's laws."

That's when I realized that I completely messed up. I shouldn't have changed the answer. It wouldn't have affected my grade too much either way. I went into our small groups after the service and confessed to the them what I had done. One of them asked me whether I would tell my teacher. I didn't want to do it. I panicked because I was unsure of the reaction my teacher would have when I told her. I had no idea what she would say. She could have either been nice about it since I was honest, or never trust me again. She also could have questioned whether or not I had cheated on my other exams. I decided to put it in God's hands. And I prayed that He would give me strength, especially when I never had to admit to a teacher that I had done something wrong. This Tuesday I walked up to her after class to speak with her. I was completely nervous. As I walked up to her I could feel my face reddening. To my surprise she took it graciously. She smiled and thanked me for telling her the truth. I definitely learned my lesson. 

Because I followed what God put into my heart to do, He helped me and gave me the courage to speak to her. Because of this, I know that God will be there for me next time He asks me to do something. As long as you pray and allow God to mold you into who He wants you to be, He will direct your paths. 

-Cynthia